如何教养孩童，使他走当行的道

我叫方传道，这是我的翻译者迦勒，今天我要讲的是 “如何教养孩童使他走当行的道”。

今天的经文来自箴言 22:6 节：

教养孩童，使他走当行的道，就是到老他也不偏离。

这是所罗门关于教育孩子的至理名言。父母有责任在信仰上培养自己的孩子。父母有责任培养孩子走义路。同样，父母也有责任让孩子远离罪恶和邪恶。

《圣经》中的应许或奖赏是，如果我们这样做了，我们的孩子就不会偏离信仰生活或义路。

因为只要你相信耶稣，悔改和顺服上帝（使徒行传 20：21），你就不仅能在耶稣里获得幸福，还能在天国里获得永生。

【箴 19:18】趁有指望，管教你的儿子，你的心不可任他死亡。趁着还有指望，管教你的孩子。

因为你并不总是有机会改变或帮助你的孩子。你管教孩子的时间越晚，或者你等待管教和教育孩子的时间越长，管教和教育孩子的难度就会越来越大。

因为总有一天，即使你管教了孩子，孩子也不会听你的话，也不会改变。事实上，总有一天，当你的孩子长大成人后，如果你再打他们，你就会被他们送进监狱。

在开始之前，请允许我们彼此祝福：

“愿我们和我们的儿女都成为上帝的儿女！”

A. 有孩子是一种祝福，但前提是他们必须走义路。

【诗 127:3】儿女是耶和华所赐的产业，所怀的胎是他所给的赏赐。 【诗 127:4】少年时所生的儿女，好像勇士手中的箭。 【诗 127:5】箭袋充满的人便为有福。他们在城门口和仇敌说话的时候，必不至于羞愧。

【创 9:7】你们要生养众多，在地上昌盛繁茂。”

现在，《诗篇》127:3-5 和《创世记》，常常被用作鼓励人们多生孩子的经文。因为诗篇说，儿女是耶和华的遗产、继承或礼物。第 4 节说，年轻时生的孩子就像弓箭手用来射杀敌人的箭。拥有满满一箭筒孩子的人是有福的，也是幸福的。因为孩子，在城门口和仇敌说话的时候必不至於羞愧 。

我们可以在圣经中看到这样的例子。

约瑟帮助他的家人（包括他的父亲雅各）躲过了饥荒，并把他们带到了埃及的歌珊地，那里很适合他们一家居住，因为他们是饲养牲畜的牧羊人。由于约瑟的帮助，他们的家族会在埃及继续的昌盛繁茂。一直到摩西带领以色列离开埃及。

以斯帖帮助她的养父末底改逃脱了哈曼的谋害，还为末底改讨回了公道，除掉了哈曼和他的十个儿子。末底改最终成为宰相。

大卫打败歌利亚后，扫罗王对他说的第一句话是：”年轻人，你是谁的儿子？” 因为扫罗王不仅答应把女儿嫁给打败歌利亚的人，还愿意免除他家的赋税。后来，当扫罗要杀大卫时，大卫仍然帮助他的父母，恳求摩押王恩准他的父母住在摩押。可以想象，当大卫成为以色列国王时，他的家人是享受何等祝福的。

但我今天想说的是，情况并非总是如此。孩子并不总是你的福气。

只有当你的孩子（像约瑟，以斯帖和大卫一样）是被圣灵充满的义人时，你的孩子才是你的祝福。否则，你的孩子非但不会成为你的祝福，反而会成为你的耻辱和灾难。

B. 如果你不在主里教养他们，约束他们的罪，孩子们就会成为你的灾难。

你不需要经历股市崩盘就会身败名裂；你不需要遇到小偷偷走你所有的钱财就会遇到灾难；你不需要地震吞噬你的财产才遇到灾难；你不需要一场洪水毁掉你所有的庄稼和牲畜，才遇到灾难；你什么都不做，你的孩子就会给你带来灾难！

因为《圣经》说:

【箴 19:13】愚昧的儿子是父亲的祸患，妻子的争吵如雨连连滴漏。 【箴 17:25】愚昧子使父亲愁烦，使母亲忧苦。 【箴 29:15】杖打和责备能加增智慧，放纵的儿子使母亲羞愧。

你看，管教孩子是一种行动。它绝不是被动的，而是主动的。作为父母，尤其是作为父亲，上帝让你们负责约束和管教自己的孩子。如果你的孩子没有得到适当的约束，你也要承担责任。这一点在大祭司、以色列士师以利和他的两个儿子的故事中表现得尤为明显。

以利既是以色列的大祭司，又是以色列的士师，在参孙死后的 40 年里，他一直担任着这一职分。他的虔诚是众所周知的，但他在管教和制止他的两个儿子何弗尼和非尼哈的罪行方面却完全疏忽了。以利未阻止他的儿子们犯罪。他的儿子们继续亵渎祭司的职分，阻挠献祭，还与在会幕（圣殿）入口处服侍的妇女发生性关系。以利的儿子们是他父亲的败笔，因为他们的缘故，神的审判落在了以利身上。审判是，以利后代原可以继承的祭司的职分被转到他的堂兄弟那里，而且家族里没有一个人能够活到老年。

其他的例子还包括大卫的儿子押沙龙，他不仅与父亲的妾睡，还试图推翻父亲的统治，引发了一场内战。两万多人死于父子之间的内战。雅各的长子流便与父亲的妻妾同床，使雅各蒙羞；以撒的儿子以扫故意娶外邦的女子为妻，使父亲以撒和母亲利百加不悦和悲伤 （创世记 26：35）。

我作为儿子和作为青少年传道人的经历中，亲眼看到了孩子对父母的深远影响。孩子可以耗尽父母的精力，也可以给父母带来生命力和喜乐。我还认识到，孩子不能停止聚会（希伯来书 10：25）。我见过太多这样的情况：父母无法带领他们的初中或高中的孩子去教会参加敬拜。

在我们继续之前，我想总结一下前两点。如果你的孩子是跟随和顺服主的义子，那么儿女多，是好事。约瑟、以斯帖和大卫等儿女给他们的父母带来了巨大的喜乐、特权和财富，但这是因为他们首先做了主眼中正确的事。很多时候，父母会努力为子女争取最好的。父母认为他们的孩子必须接受最好的教育，上最好的学校，有最好的老师，学习钢琴和体育等课外活动，只吃最好的食物。如果没有这些，他们的孩子就会失败。虽然这些事情本身并没有错，但顺序是错的。因为上帝的命令是让你们：

【太 6:33】你们要先求他的国和他的义，这些东西都要加给你们了。

你们要先求他的国和他的义，这些东西都要加给你们了。以利的儿子们失败并不是因为他们没有足够的钱，因为他的父亲是以色列的领袖，是士师。他们失败是因为他们蔑视上帝，无法控制自己的性冲动。押沙龙的失败不是因为他没有上过最好的学校，因为他是王子。他失败了，因为他骄傲、贪心，甚至因为恨他父亲。流便失败并不是因为他吃得不好，因为他是雅各儿子中的长子。流便失败是因为他也无法控制自己的性冲动。以扫的失败并不是因为他不够健壮，因为他是一个熟练的猎手。以扫失败了，因为他不愿意像弟弟雅各那样凭着信心向神悔改。

【传 10:1】死苍蝇使作香的膏油发出臭气。这样，一点愚昧，也能败坏智慧和尊荣。

如果你不在主里培养他们，约束他们的罪恶，你的孩子就会成为你的灾难，因为建立一个帝国可能需要几十年，但摧毁它只需要几天。

C. 为人父母，尤其是父亲，你们有责任供养并教导子女走主的道路

那么，怎样才能培养出正直和敬畏上帝的孩子呢？那就是供养子女和给他们教导主的道路。

父母是国家赋予你们的子女的法定监护人。

供养子女是父母的义务。

【林后 12:14】儿女不该为父母积财，父母该为儿女积财。

上帝说，不这样做的人比不信的人还不如。

【提前 5:8】人若不看顾亲属，就是背了真道，比不信的人还不好。不看顾自己家里的人更是如此。

此外，仅仅提供他们的物质需求是不够的，父母还需要提供他们的属灵需求。

【箴 22:6】教养孩童，使他走当行的道，就是到老他也不偏离。

【申 6:6】我今日所吩咐你的话都要记在心上， 【申 6:7】也要殷勤教训你的儿女，无论你坐在家里，行在路上，躺下，起来，都要谈论； 【申 6:8】也要系在手上为记号，戴在额上为经文； 【申 6:9】又要写在你房屋的门框上，并你的城门上。”

【申 11:19】也要教训你们的儿女，无论坐在家里，行在路上，躺下，起来，都要谈论； 【申 11:20】又要写在房屋的门框上，并城门上，

以上经文的意思是，不要停止向孩子们讲授上帝的国度和祂的公义。勇于创新，在家中张贴或悬挂经文。 在屋里屋外与孩子讲论神和关于祂的话语。从孩子们早上起床到临睡前，都要不厌其烦地教导他们。现在，我认为我们这个时代的父母更愿意在英语学习方面这样做，而不是在教导上帝的方面。 事实上，我们做父母的就是在跟世界跟撒旦抢夺你的孩子，在发挥你的影响力。

父母们，你们有在主里引导自己的孩子吗？你的墙上有挂圣经经文吗？您每周在家与孩子一起学习圣经吗？您在孩子睡前给他们读圣经故事和祷告吗？有年纪大一点的孩子的父母，您有在家里讨论过性和敬虔等的事吗？因为如果你不这样做，你的孩子就会被他们不信的朋友和周围不相信有上帝的人教导。因此，许多基督徒的孩子会成为不信者，因为他们的父母把能说流利的英语看得比永恒的救赎更重要。

此外，父母，尤其是父亲，有责任制定家庭和孩子的规则。如果你没有任何规则或禁令，你怎么能指望你的孩子知道该怎么行呢？

曾经有一位女士告诉我，她的父亲在她年轻的时候立下了在她大学毕业之前不准她谈恋爱的规矩，以及不准她小时候在朋友家过夜的规矩。现在，她已经长大成人，却对父亲的做法肃然起敬。上帝并没有说教导孩子认识上帝是青少堂的责任，甚至也没说是教会的责任。青少年团体和教会当然能帮助，但是男人是一家的头（以弗所书 5：23），有了这个特权，就有责任确保你的家和你的孩子活在神的秩序中。

D. 父母，尤其是父亲，有责任管教自己的孩子

管教孩子意味着什么？就是改变他们的错误行为。我们不能让孩子继续走邪路。但要注意的是，随着孩子年龄的增长，管教变得越发困难。这就好比一个握笔姿势不正确的孩子，不能正确握笔会使孩子写字的速度降低，也会影响书写的工整程度。旧习惯是很难改掉的，罪恶的习惯也是如此。因此，要及早进行圣经教育和管教，否则就很难改掉罪恶或坏习惯。

但是并非所有的孩子都一样。有些孩子只需要一点的管教，而有些孩子则需要很多的管教。在孩子不需要管教或没做错的时候打他，对孩子来说是伤害。因此，要确保你所做的是出于爱，而不是恨或愤怒。

我还听说，当你管教孩子时，不应该用自己的手或脚，而应该用身体以外的，比如棍子，好让你在找棍子的时候给你时间考虑鞭打孩子的理由和目的是否正确。

但不管教也是一个问题。以至于《箴言》13:24 中的这段话在西方国家家喻户晓，甚至成为一个代名词或成语。

【箴 13:24】不忍用杖打儿子的，是恨恶他，疼爱儿子的，随时管教。

【箴 22:15】愚蒙迷住孩童的心，用管教的杖可以远远赶除。

现在，教师已不能在课堂上使用体罚。因此，管教自己的孩子就成了父母，尤其是父亲的责任。

但有一点需要提醒和忠告：

家长们，你们需要身体力行，而不是光说不做（约翰一书 2:6）。如果你不能以身作则，向孩子们传达你的期望，那么世界上所有的教导和管教都是无济于事的。

这就是为什么圣经中写：

【弗 6:4】你们作父亲的，不要惹儿女的气，只要照着主的教训和警戒养育他们。

如果你吸烟，你就很难指望你的孩子不吸烟；如果你说粗话，就很难指望你的孩子不说粗话； 如果你撒谎，就很难指望你的孩子不撒谎；如果你自己有手机瘾，就很难指望你的孩子没有手机瘾； 如果你自己看色情片，你就很难指望你的孩子不看色情片。“照我说的做，而不是照我做的做 “ 这句话根本行不通。

随着年龄的增长，你会发现你的孩子越来越像你。他们会有你的好特质，但不幸的是，他们也会学你的坏特质。这是因为家长的行为比他的语言更具有影响力。

总之，如果你想安享晚年，就必须按照上帝的方式积极供养、教导和管教你的孩子。生儿育女责任重大。像以色列人一样，你必须教导他们遵守上帝的命令，继承父母的信仰。让他们背诵经文，与他们一起讨论圣经和祷告。这是一个不容商量的事，越早开始，对你来说就越容易。

根据我的经验，能够继续参加青少年活动并愿意更多了解上帝的孩子，大部分都是那些得到父母大力支持的孩子。我很少看到双方父母都不信主的孩子参加青少年活动。作为父母，你们永远是影响孩子物质和属灵的主要因素。

E. 最后，重点是什么？我们最应该在意什么呢？

教导和管教孩子，这不仅仅关系到你个人的幸福，家族的兴旺和你孩子未来的工作。这关系到永恒。天国和地狱都岌岌可危。

我们都将根据自己的行为受到审判（启示录 20：12、罗马书 2:6）。虽然我们的善行（服从上帝的命令）不能拯救我们 (以弗所书 2:8)，但它们能证明我们已经得救并悔改了。但如果我们没有悔改，继续犯罪，我们的行为将证明我们根本没有得救，永恒的地狱将是我们永远的去处！

【林前 6:9】你们岂不知不义的人不能承受　神的国吗？不要自欺，无论是淫乱的、拜偶像的、奸淫的、作娈童的、亲男色的、 【林前 6:10】偷窃的、贪婪的、醉酒的、辱骂的、勒索的，都不能承受　神的国。

我要强调的是，如果我们继续：不信耶稣（约翰福音 14：6）、看色情（马太福音 5：28）、手淫（马太福音 5：30）、撒谎（出埃及记 20：16）、偷窃（出埃及记 22：1）、不饶恕人（马太福音 6：15）、骂别人是白痴（马太福音 5：22）、无缘无故地恨别人（约翰一书 3：15），或继续犯其他任何罪而不悔改（哥林多书前书 6：9-10），那么，即使你称耶稣为 “主”，你也无法进入天国之门，而会被送到永恒的地狱（马太福音 7：22-23）。

我们的孩子也是如此。

【箴 23:14】你要用杖打他，就可以救他的灵魂免下阴间。

【太 19:14】耶稣说：“让小孩子到我这里来，不要禁止他们，因为在天国的，正是这样的人。”

孩子可以进天国，也可以下地狱。因此，我们不要误解，为人父母的责任是非常重要的。你所做的会带给你的孩子永恒的影响。

现在我们来总结一下：

1. 有孩子是一种祝福，但前提是他们必须走义路。
2. 如果你不在主里培养他们，约束他们的罪，孩子们就会成为你的灾难。
3. 父母，尤其是父亲s，有责任供养并教导子女走主的道路。
4. 父母，尤其是父亲，有责任管教子女。
5. 重点是什么？重点是要得到永恒的天国而不是下地狱。

最后，介绍一下我自己。我的父母从未让我选择去不去教会。我们每周都去。我记得在我上二年级时，妈妈给我买了一本图画圣经让我读，在我大一点的时候，我们全家每周都会一起查经。我父亲教我读圣经，我还看到了父母在家里带领的小群。在我十几岁的时候，父亲成为了一名牧师。我今天宣讲的许多教义都是父亲教给我的。他向我讲述了哈德逊 - 泰勒（Hudson Taylor）、查尔斯 - 司布真（Charles Spurgeon）、德怀特 - 穆迪（Dwight Moody）、马修 - 亨利（Matthew Henry）和约翰 - 麦克阿瑟（John Macarthur）等信仰巨人的事迹。我十几岁时就喜欢参加青年团契。吸引我的一大原因是那里有一个漂亮的女孩（哈哈 ^^）。因为父亲的鼓励和支持，我在 18 岁时进入了神学院。我之所以参与事工，是因为有一天晚上，我明白了我们的生命应该为上帝而活，永恒的灵魂比黄金更宝贵 （彼得前书 1：7）。我父亲在中国服事了十多年，才会有我今天能和各位分享的机会。

我们一起祷告：

天父，对于已经为人父母的人来说，感谢你赐予我们生命中的孩子。孩子是上帝给我们的礼物和产业。所有的孩子都有潜力在这个世界上做奇妙的事，孝敬父母，像约瑟、以斯帖和大卫一样，为你的国度做伟大的事。但我们不仅要做负责任的父母，不仅要在主里供养、教导和管教他们，还要以身作则，让他们明白得胜的人生意味着什么。主啊，你已将生与死、祝福与诅咒、天国与地狱摆在我们和我们的孩子的面前。

如果我们没有教导、管教好我们的孩子，或者没有成为他们的好榜样，请帮助我们谦卑自己，不仅愿意承认自己的过错，也愿意从自己的罪中回转。

对于那些还没有孩子的人，感谢你将你的话语赐给我们，让我们有智慧为孩子的到来做好准备。 祷告奉主耶稣基督的名求，阿们！

My name is preacher Fang, and this is my translator Caleb and today I’d like to preach about training up your child in the ways of the Lord. We want to thank you for your support and prayers.

Train Up your Child in the Way He Should Go

Today’s Bible Passage is:

Train up a child the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it. (Proverbs 22:6)

These are the wise words from Solomon about raising children.

You have the responsibility to train up your child in the faith.

You have the responsibility to train up your child in the ways of righteousness.

In the same way, parents have the responsibility to turn their children away from sin and evil.

But the promise or reward in the Bible is that if we do so, our children will not depart from the life of faith or the path of righteousness.

For to have faith in Jesus and to turn to God in repentance and obedience (Acts 20:21) is all that is required for you to not only be happy in Jesus but to also have eternal life in heaven.

¹⁸Discipline your son, while there is hope;（Proverbs 19:18）

Discipline your child while there is still hope.

For you will not always have this hope to change or help your child.

The later you discipline or the longer you wait to discipline and teach your child, the harder and harder it will be.

For there will come a time when your child will not listen to your words or change even if you discipline him or her.

In fact, there will come a day when you will be put in jail by your children if you hit them when they are adults.

Before we begin, may we bless each other by saying: “May we all be children of God”

Children are a blessing only if they be found in the way of righteousness

Psalm 127:3-5

³Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him.

⁴Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth.

⁵Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their opponents in court.

Genesis 9:7 – Be fruitful and multiply.

Now Psalm 127:3-5 and Genesis 9:7 are often used as passages to encourage people to have more children. For it says that children are a heritage, inheritance, or gift from the Lord. In verse 4, it says that children who are born in one’s youth are like arrows that an archer can use to shoot against his enemies. Blessed or happy is the man who has a full quiver of these children for his children will not be put to shame when they contend with their opponents.

We can see examples of this in scripture.

Joseph helped his family (including Jacob) to escape the famine and brought them to the land of Goshen in Egypt which was a suitable place for the family for they were shepherds who raised livestock. As a result of this, his father Jacob was blessed and the family would grow into a nation in Egypt (Genesis 47:27).

Esther helped her adopted father Mordecai to not only to escape death from the hand of Haman who wanted to kill him but also in getting justice on Haman by removing him and all his 10 sons. Mordecai, would eventually become only second in line on the throne behind King Xerxes.

The first thing that King Saul said to the young David after he had defeated Goliath was “Whose son are you, young man?” for the king had promised to not only give her daughter to the man who defeated Goliath but was also willing to exempt his family from taxes. Later when Saul was trying to kill David, David helped his parents entreating the king of Moab’s favour to allow his parents to live in Moab. We can only imagine how David’s family was blessed when he became king of Israel.

But I want to propose today that this is not always the case. That children are not always a blessing to you.

That your children are only a blessing to you if your children (like Joseph, Esther and David) are righteous people who are filled with the Holy Spirit. Otherwise, instead of being your blessing, your children will become your shame and disaster.

Children will become your ruin if you don’t train them up in the Lord and restrain their sin

You don’t need to experience a stock market crash to come to ruin. You don’t need a thief to steal all your money to come to ruin. You don’t need an earthquake to swallow up your property to come to ruin. You don’t need a flood to destroy all your crops and livestock to come to ruin.

All you need to do is nothing and your child will bring calamity to you for the Bible says,

Proverbs 19:13 A foolish son is his father’s ruin,

Proverbs 17:25 A foolish son brings grief to his father and bitterness to the mother who bore him.

Proverbs 29:15 A child left undisciplined disgraces its mother.

You see disciplining your children is an action. It is never passive but it is active. As parents, and especially as fathers, God holds you responsible for restraining and disciplining your children. And you are held responsible if your children are not properly restrained. This is especially clear in the story of the high priest and Israel’s judge Eli and his two sons.

Eli was both the high priest and the judge of Israel which he did for 40 years after the death of Samson. He was well known for his piety, but he was completely negligent in disciplining and stopping the sins of his two sons Hophni and Phinehas. Eli failed to stop his sons from sinning. His sons continued to desecrate the priestly office by obstructing the meat offering as well as having sex with the women who served at the entrance of the tabernacle (temple). The people of Israel couldn’t properly offer the meat offering to God. Eli’s sons were the downfall of his father for because of them, the judgments of God fell upon Eli. The judgements were that Eli’s descendants would relinquish the priestly office to his cousins and none would reach old age.

Other examples of sons being the ruin of their fathers include David’s son Absalom who not only slept with his father’s concubines but also caused a civil war when he tried to dethrone his father. More than 20,000 men died in the civil war between father and son. Jacob’s firstborn Reuben, who slept with his father’s concubine and brought shame to the house and Issac’s son Esau who purposefully married wayward women to the displeasure and grief of his father Isaac and his mother Rebecca.

From my own experience as a son, and from my experiences as a preacher of the youth church, I have seen the profound impact children have on their parents. A child can sap the energy his or her parents dry or bring life and joy to their parents. I have also learned that it is important for a child to never stop congregating at church or at youth (Hebrews 10:25). I have seen too many cases where the parents are unable to make even their middle school or high school children to even go to church.

I want to summarize the first two points before we continue. It’s only good to have a lot of children if your children are righteous children who follow and obey the Lord. Sons and daughters such as Joseph, Esther and David brought much joy, privilege, and riches to their parents because they first did what was right in the eyes of the Lord. Oftentimes parents strive to get the best for their children. Parents think that their children must get the best education, go to the best school, have the best teacher, learn extracurricular such as piano and play sports and eat only the best food. If they don’t have this, then their children will fail. Although these things are not wrong in and of themselves, the order is wrong. For God’s order is for you to:

Matthew 6:33 Seek after His kingdom and righteousness first and these things will be given to you.

Seek after God first and then these things will be given unto you. Eli’s sons didn’t fail because they didn’t have enough money for his father was the leader or president of Israel. They failed because they because they despised God and couldn’t control their sexual urges. Absalom didn’t fail because he didn’t go to the best academic school for he was a prince. He failed because he was proud, greedy and perhaps even envious of the riches and power that his father had. Reuben didn’t fail because he didn’t eat well for, he was the firstborn of the sons of Jacob. Reuben failed because he too couldn’t control his sexual urges. Esau didn’t fail because he wasn’t athletic enough as he was a skillful hunter. Esau failed because he wouldn’t turn to God in faith and repentance like his younger brother Jacob.

Ecclesiastes 10:1 One dead fly makes the perfumer’s ointment give off a rancid stench, so a little folly can outweigh much wisdom.

Your children will become your ruin if you don’t train them up in the Lord and restrain their sin because whilst it may take decades to build an empire, it only takes a few days to destroy it. Whereas moral failures can bring about death and destruction, the same can’t be said for not being able to speak fluent English.

Parents, with Fathers in particular, it is your responsibility to provide and teach your children the way of the Lord

So how does one produce righteous and God-fearing children? You do so by providing and teaching them the way of the Lord.

You are the legal guardians of your children which the state has bestowed onto you.

It is your obligation to provide for your children.

2 Corinthians 12:14 Children don’t provide for their parents. Rather, parents provide for their children.

God says those who don’t do so are worse than unbelievers.

1 Timothy 5:8 Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

Moreover, only providing for their physical needs isn’t enough, you also need to provide for their spiritual needs.

Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

Deuteronomy 6:6-9 ⁶These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. ⁷Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. ⁸Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. ⁹Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.

Deuteronomy 11:19-20 ¹⁹Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. ²⁰Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates,

The themes here are don’t stop teaching your children about God’s kingdom and His righteousness. Be innovative and put-up scripture in your house or hang it on your walls. Discuss theology and Bible stories with your children inside and outside of the house. As soon as they get up in the morning and just before they go to sleep, the teaching and effort is relentless. Now, I think parents in our day and age are more willing to do this with English learning than with scripture. But the idea is the same, the more they see, hear, discuss from you as parents and from your parenting, the more they will be able to remember and be brought up in the faith and righteousness of the Lord. In fact, you are competing with the world and Satan for your child’s influence

Parents do you do this with your children? Do you have scriptural passages around your home? Do you have weekly Bible studies with your children at home? Do you read to your children bedtime Bible stories and pray with them? Do you discuss issues such as sex and godliness at home? Because if you don’t, your children will be instead taught by their unbelieving friends and those around them who don’t even believe there is a God. So, it is little wonder why many Christian children become unbelievers because the parents themselves prioritized English fluency over eternal salvation.

Also, parents, and fathers in particular, it is your responsibility to set up the rules of your household and your children. If you don’t have any rules or curfews, how can you expect your child to know what to do?

A woman once told me that her father had set up the rule which prevented her from dating until she had finished university and the rule of not allowing her to sleep over at her friend’s house when she was younger. And now as a much older woman, she respects her father for doing so.

God does not say it is the youth group’s responsibility or even the Church’s responsibility. For the man is the head of the head of his house (Ephesians 5:23) and with that privilege comes the responsibility of making sure your house and your children are in order.

Parents, with fathers in particular, it is your responsibility to discipline your children

Now what does it mean to discipline our children? It means to change their wrong behavior. We cannot allow our children to stay on the path of evil. But be mindful that as your child gets older, the harder disciplining becomes. It’s just like a child who is unable to hold a pencil properly. The inability to hold a pencil properly will slow down the speed by which the child can write as well as how neat the writing will be. Old habits are hard to break. And the same can be said for the habits of sin. So, teach and discipline early otherwise it will be very difficult to break the sin or bad habit.

Now not all children are the same. Some require little discipline while others require a lot of discipline. Beating up your child when he or she doesn’t deserve or require it will cause your child more harm than good. So, make sure what you are doing is out of love rather than hate or rage.

I have also heard that when you discipline your child, it shouldn’t be with your own hand or feet but that you should use an item that isn’t on your body such as a stick so that the punishment isn’t done out of hatred or rage.

But to not discipline is also a problem. So much so that the passage from Proverbs 13:24 is so well-known in Western countries that it has become a byword or like an idiom.

Proverbs 13:24 ²⁴He that spares his rod hates his son: but he that loves him disciplines him many times.

Proverbs 22:15 ¹⁵A child’s heart tends to do wrong, but the rod of discipline removes it far away from him.

Teachers are now no longer able to use corporal punishment in the classroom.

So, it becomes the parents’ responsibility, especially fathers, to discipline your own children.

But a word of caution and advice,

Parents, you need to walk the walk not just talk the talk (1 John 2:6). All the instructing and all the disciplining in the world won’t help if you cannot model what you expect from your children.

That is why it is written:

Ephesians 6:4 ⁴And, you fathers, provoke not your children to wrath.

You cannot expect your child not to smoke if you smoke. You cannot expect your child not to use foul language if you use foul language. You cannot expect your child not to lie if you lie. You cannot expect your child not to have a mobile phone addiction if you yourself have one. You cannot expect your child not to watch pornography if you watch it yourself.

The phrase, “Do what I say, not what I do,” simply doesn’t work.

As you grow older you will find that your children grow to be more and more like you.

They will have your good traits but unfortunately, they will also share your bad traits.

This is because they learn more from what they see than compared to what they hear.

To summarize, you must be active to provide, teach and discipline your children in the ways of God if you wish to have rest in your senior years. Having children is a big responsibility. Like the Israelites, you must teach them to follow God’s commands and continue in the faith of their parents. Get them to memorize scripture. Discuss scripture and pray with them. This is a non-negotiable and the earlier you start, the easier it will be for you.

From my experience, the children who can continue coming to youth group and are willing to learn more about God are always those who have strong support from their parents. I rarely see a child who comes to youth whose both parents are unbelievers. You as parents will always be the main influence on your child’s physical and spiritual life.

Lastly, what is at stake? Why should we care?

Teaching and disciplining your children is not just about your personal happiness, the prosperity of your family, your personal sanity, and the material future of your son or daughter.

Eternity is at stake. Heaven and hell are at stake.

By our deeds we will all be judged （Revelation 20:12/Romans 2:6）. Although our good works (obedience to God’s commands) cannot save us (Ephesians 2:8), but they will prove that we are saved and have repented. But if we haven’t repented of your sins, and continue to do evil works, our deeds will prove that we are not saved at all, and eternal hell will be our eternal resting place.

1 Corinthians 6:9-10 ⁹Don’t you realize that those who do wrong will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Don’t fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin, or who worship idols, or commit adultery, or are male prostitutes, or practice homosexuality, ¹⁰or are thieves, or greedy people, or drunkards, or are abusive, or cheat people—none of these will inherit the Kingdom of God.

Can I emphasize that if you continue to be unbelieving of Jesus (John 14:6), watch pornography (Matthew 5:28), masturbate (Matthew 5:30), lie (Exodus 20:16), steal（Exodus 22:1）, be unforgiving (Matthew 6:15), call others idiots (Matthew 5:22), hate others for no good reason (1 John 3:15) or continue to commit any other sin and don’t repent (1 Corinthians 6:9-10), you won’t be making it through the gates of heaven but will be in eternal hell, even if you call Jesus “Lord” (Matthew 7:22-23).

So too for our children.

Proverbs 23:14 You shall beat him with the rod, and shall deliver his soul from hell.

Matthew 19:14 Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”

Children can enter heaven or hell. Let us therefore not misunderstand the responsibilities of parenthood are of great importance. The results of our efforts will have eternal consequences for the boys and girls we raise.

Now we will summarize:

1. Children are a blessing only if they be found in the way of righteousness.
2. Children will become your ruin if you don’t train them up in the Lord and restrain their sin.
3. Parents, with Fathers in particular, it is your responsibility to provide and teach your children the way of the Lord.
4. Parents, with Fathers in particular, it is your responsibility to discipline your children.
5. Lastly, what is at stake? Why should we care?

Finally, a little about myself. My parents never gave me a choice of whether we needed to go to church. We went every week. I remember my mum bought me a picture Bible to read when I was in grade 2 and my family would have Bible studies together once a week when I was older. My father taught me the Bible and I saw the cell groups that my parents led at home. When I was a teenager, my father became a pastor. Many of the doctrines I am preaching about are the same doctrines my father taught me. He told me of the giants of the faith such as Hudson Taylor, Charles Spurgeon, Dwight Moody, Matthew Henry, and John Macarthur. I loved going to youth group as a teenager. A big attraction was that there was a beautiful girl there. I entered Bible school when I was 18 because my father encouraged me and supported me. I became involved in ministry because one night, I understood that our lives should be lived for God and that imperishable souls are more valuable than perishable gold. My father served in China for over ten years and that is why I am here today.

Prayer:

Lord, to the people who are already parents, thank you for your gift or inheritance of children in our lives. All have the potential to do marvelous things in this world, honor their parents and do mighty deeds for your kingdom like Joseph, Esther and David.

But let us not only be responsible parents who not only provide, teach, and discipline them in the Lord but also model what it means to live a victorious life. Lord, you have set life and death, blessing, and cursing and heaven and hell before us and our children.

If we have failed to teach, discipline or be a good a good model for our children, please help us to humble ourselves and be willing not only to confess our faults but also to turn from our own sins.

To those who don’t have children yet, thank you for giving us your word which gives us wisdom to prepare for when they arrive.

Amen.